Kingdom Q
by Yazu Katara and Toph Attack
Summary: Namine has tied up the Kingdom Hearts gang and is forcing them to sing Avenue Q... mostly it's the people Namine likes... Kaimine, Roxora and Axiku... with some Xemaix. [Namine]
1. It Sucks To Be Me

Namine-sama and Jin-sama walk onto the stage.

"Aw. Crap." Axel says.

"Thank you for that, Axel-kun," Jin-sama says, whacking him on the head, and getting spiked by his hair.

Namine-sama stares at them.

"Anyway… we all here? Including Nigel?"

"Nigel? Where?" Jin-sama shouts.

Namine-sama points and Jin-sama runs out and FLYINGTACKLEHUGGLEPOUNCE's him.

"Now that's just awkward…" Namine-sama says, then she spots Hayner.

Hayner's eyes widen and he runs off.

Namine-sama giggles and takes up her clipboard.

"Welcome to Kingdom Q! You guys will sing fitting Avenue Q

Songs… meaning they will make no sense, but you won't be the same characters all the damn time. Questions?"

Roxas raises his hand.

"Roxas-kun?"

"What are the couples or do we want to know?"

Namine-sama checks her clipboard, "Well… for the sex song it's Kaimine and Roxora… otherwise, it's Kaimine, Roxora and Axiku."

"AW. CRAP!" the rest of the Kingdom Hearts People shouted.

"And with that, let's start with It Sucks To Be Me! Namine-chan as Kate Monster," Namine-sama shouts.

Jin-sama returns to the stage, "Roxas as Rod."

"Axel as Brian."

"Riku as Christmas Eve."

"Sora as Nicky."

"Kairi as Princeton."

"And Hayner as Gary Coleman!!"

"GO!!" They shouted together.

Jin-sama ran into the audience and continued to huggle Nigel.

Namine-sama decided to drink Diet Coke. (Oh, crud.)

NAMINE  
Morning, Brian!

AXEL  
Hi, Kate Monster.

NAMINE  
How's life?

AXEL  
Disappointing!

NAMINE  
What's the matter?

AXEL  
The caterine company  
laid me off.

NAMINE  
Oh, I'm sorry!

AXEL  
Me too! I mean, look at me!  
I'm ten years out of college, and I  
always thought -

NAMINE  
What?

AXEL  
No, it sounds stupid.

NAMINE  
Aww, come on!

AXEL  
When I was little  
I thought I would be...

NAMINE  
What?

AXEL  
A big comedian  
on late night TV  
But now I'm thirty-two  
And as you can see  
I'm not

NAMINE  
Nope!

AXEL  
Oh Well,  
It sucks to be me.

NAMINE  
Nooo.

AXEL  
It sucks to be me.

NAMINE  
No!

AXEL  
It sucks to be broke  
and unemployed  
and turning thirty-three.  
It sucks to be me.

NAMINE  
Oh, you think your life sucks?

AXEL  
I think so.

NAMINE  
Your problems aren't so bad!  
I'm kinda pretty  
And pretty damn smart.

AXEL  
You are.

NAMINE  
Thanks!  
I like romantic things  
Like music and art.  
And as you know  
I have a gigantic heart  
So why don't I have  
A boyfriend?  
Fuck!  
It sucks to be me!

AXEL  
Me too.

NAMINE  
It sucks to be me.

AXEL  
It sucks to be me.  
It sucks to be Brian...

NAMINE  
And Kate...

AXEL  
To not have a job!

NAMINE  
To not have a date!

BOTH  
It sucks to be me.

AXEL  
Hey, ROd, Nicky, can you  
settle something for us?  
Do you have a second?

ROXAS  
Ah, certainly.

NAMINE  
Whose life sucks more?  
Brian's or mine?

SORA AND ROXAS  
Ours!

ROXAS  
We live together.

SORA  
We're as close  
As people can get.

ROXAS  
We've been the best  
of buddies...

SORA  
Ever since the  
Day we met.

ROXAS  
So he knows lots  
Of ways to make me  
Really upset.  
Oh, every day is  
An aggravation.

SORA  
Come on, that's  
an exaggeration!

ROXAS  
You leave your  
clothes out.  
You put your feet  
On my chair.

SORA  
Oh yeah?  
You do such anal  
Things like ironing  
Your underwear.

ROXAS  
You make that very  
Small apartment  
We share a hell.

SORA  
So do you,  
That's why I'm in hell too!

ROXAS  
It sucks to be me!

SORA  
No, it sucks to be me!

NAMINE  
It sucks to be me!

AXEL  
It sucks to be me!

ALL  
Is there anybody here  
It doesn't suck to be?  
It sucks to be me!

RIKU  
Why you all so happy?

SORA  
Becuase our lives suck!

RIKU  
Your lives suck?  
I hearing you correctly? Ha!  
I coming to this country  
For opportunities.  
Tried to work in  
Korean deli  
But I am Japanese.  
But with hard work  
I earn two Master's Degrees  
In social work!  
And now I a therapist!  
But I have no clients  
And I have an  
Unemployed fiance'!  
And we have lots  
Of bills to pay!  
It suck to be me!  
It suck to be me!  
I say it  
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-  
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-  
Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-Sucka-  
Suck!  
It suck to be me!

KAIRI  
Excuse me?

AXEL  
Hey there.

KAIRI  
Sorry to bother you, but I'm  
looking for a place to live.

RIKU  
Why you looking all  
the way out here?

KAIRI  
Well, I started at Avenue A,  
but so far everything is out  
of my price range. But this  
neighborhood looks a lot cheaper!  
Oh, and look - a "For Rent" sign!

AXEL  
You need to talk to  
the superintendent.  
Let me get him.

KAIRI  
Great, thanks!

AXEL  
Yo, Gary!

HAYNER  
I'm comin'! I'm comin'!

KAIRI  
Oh my God!  
It's Gary Coleman!

HAYNER  
Yes I am!  
I'm Gary Coleman  
From TV's  
Diff'rent Strokes  
I made a lotta money  
That got stolen  
By my folks!  
Now I'm broke and  
I'm the butt  
Of everyone's jokes,  
But I'm here -  
The Superintendent!  
On Avenue Q -

ALL  
It sucks to be you.

NAMINE  
You win!

ALL  
It sucks to be you.

AXEL  
I feel better now!

HAYNER  
Try having people  
stopping you to ask you  
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"  
It gets old.

ALL  
It sucks to be you  
On Avenue Q  
(Sucks to be me)  
On Avenue Q  
(Sucks to be you)  
On Avenue Q  
(Sucks to be us)  
But not when  
We're together.  
We're together  
Here on Avenue Q!  
We live on Avenue Q!  
Our friends do too!  
'Til our dreams  
Come true,  
We live on Avenue Q!

KAIRI  
This is real life!

ALL  
We live on Avenue Q!

SORA  
You're gonna love it!

ALL  
We live on Avenue Q!

HAYNER  
Here's your keys!

ALL  
Welcome to Avenue Q!

"'Cause you're lives do kinda suck…" Namine-sama commented.

"WE KNOW!!!" the actors shouted, running down the steps.

"And you can tell I ship Princeton/Kate Monster, Nicky/Rod and, of course, Brian/Christmas Eve!!!" Namine-sama shouted.

"WE CAN SEE THAT!!!" The actors shouted, finding their seats. Hayner sat next to Namine-sama and began to sulk.

"Geez… PMS much?" Jin-sama commented.

Everybody glared at the brunette with much contempt.

"Wait a minute, Jin-sama's a brunette and I'm a blonde…" Namine-sama said, her eyes widening.

"Yeah…" Roxas said.

"So we're Roxora…" Namine-sama finished.

"YOU TWO ARE DESTINED!!!" Jin-sama screamed, pointing to Roxas and Sora, who blushed and slid down in their seats.

"What about us?" Namine-sama asked.

"Ew. Awkward." Jin-sama said, making the awkward turtle gesture.

"Yes. Awkward." Namine-sama agreed, mirroring her Other.

"…"


	2. If You Were Gay

Namine-sama sighed, "Roxas as Nicky and Hayner as Rod, because I need to fuel my Hayner/Roxas obsession."

Hayner looked at her incredulously, "I thought we were married!"

"We are, but you're allowed to rape Roxas whenever you want," Namine-sama said, "As long as I can draw it…"

Hayner and Roxas tentatively walked onto the stage, for fear of Namine-sama and Jin-sama's Nazi wrath.

HAYNER  
Aah, an afternoon alone with  
My favorite book, "Broadway  
Musicals of the 1940s."  
No roommate to bother me.  
How could it get any better than this?

ROXAS  
Oh,hi Rod!

HAYNER  
Hi Nicky.

ROXAS  
Hey Rod, you'll never  
Guess what happened to  
Me on the subway this morning.  
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

HAYNER  
That's very interesting.

ROXAS  
He was being real friendly,  
And I think he was coming on to me.  
I think he might've thought I was gay!

HAYNER  
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?  
Why should I care?  
I don't care.   
What did you have for lunch today?

ROXAS  
Oh, you don't have to get  
All defensive about it, Rod...

HAYNER  
I'm NOT getting defensive!  
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?  
I'm trying to read.

ROXAS  
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.  
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.

HAYNER  
I don't want to talk about it,  
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!

ROXAS  
Yeah, but...

HAYNER  
OVER!!!

ROXAS  
Well, okay, but just so you know —  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)

HAYNER  
Nicky, please!  
I am trying to read...  
What?!

ROXAS  
IF YOU WERE QUEER

HAYNER  
Ah, Nicky!

ROXAS  
I'D STILL BE HERE,

HAYNER  
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.

ROXAS  
YEAR AFTER YEAR

HAYNER  
Nicky!

ROXAS  
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR  
TO ME,

HAYNER  
Argh!

ROXAS  
AND I KNOW THAT YOU

HAYNER  
What?

ROXAS  
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,

HAYNER  
I would?

ROXAS  
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,  
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,  
I'M GAY!"  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)  
I'M HAPPY  
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

HAYNER  
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...

ROXAS  
SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME  
WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS?

HAYNER  
Nicky, that's GROSS!

ROXAS  
No it's not!  
IF YOU WERE GAY  
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!

HAYNER  
I am not listening!

ROXAS  
AND HERE I'D STAY,

HAYNER  
La la la la la!

ROXAS  
BUT I WOULDN'T GET  
IN YOUR WAY.

HAYNER  
Aaaah!

ROXAS  
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  
TO ALWAYS BE  
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,  
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,  
YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY,  
AND, AS THEY SAY,  
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,  
YOU'RE GAY!

HAYNER  
BUT I'M NOT GAY!

ROXAS  
If you were gay.

HAYNER  
Argh!

Hayner and Roxas ran down from the stage and ducked under their seats.

"I'm sorry, Hayner-chan…" Namine-sama said, patting his ass.

"NO TOUCHY!!!" Hayner shouted.

"Okay… I'll let you alone while you get over yourself."


	3. Everyone's A Little Bit Racist

Namine-sama looked up from her drawing, "Oh, we're on again? Right."

Jin-sama looked over at the drawing, "You were drawing Yuri Porn again, weren't you?"

"Save The Internet Is For Porn for later, will ya?" Hayner asked.

"Right!" Namine-sama shouted, "With that, Everyone's A Little Bit Racist!!"

"Brought to you by the Olette and Pence Destruction Club. Olette and Pence SUCK!!" Jin-sama yelled.

"Very nice," Namine-sama said, flashing her the thumbs up sign.

"Kairi as Princeton, again."

"Namine as Kate Monster."

"Riku as Gary Coleman."

"Roxas as Christmas Eve."

"And Sora as Brian."

"GO!!" they shouted.

Kairi:  
Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?

Namine:  
Sure!

Kairi:  
Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?

Namine:  
Uh huh.

Kairi:  
Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster.

Namine:  
Right.

Kairi:  
You're both Monsters.

Namine:  
Yeah.

Kairi:  
Are you two related?

Namine:  
What?! Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!

Kairi:  
Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!

Namine:  
Well, it's a touchy subject.  
No, not all Monsters are related.  
What are you trying say, huh?  
That we all look the same to you?  
Huh, huh, huh?

Kairi:  
No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,  
I guess that was a little racist.

Namine:  
I should say so. You should be much more   
careful when you're talking about the  
sensitive subject of race.

Kairi:  
Well, look who's talking!

Namine:  
What do you mean?

Kairi:  
What about that special Monster School you told me about?

Namine:  
What about it?

Kairi:  
Could someone like me go there?

Namine:  
No, we don't want people like you-

Kairi:  
You see?!

You're a little bit racist.

Namine:  
Well, you're a little bit too.

Kairi:  
I guess we're both a little bit racist.

Namine:  
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...

Kairi:  
But I guess it's true.

Namine:  
Between me and you,  
I think

Both:  
Everyone's a little bit racist  
Sometimes.  
Doesn't mean we go  
Around committing hate crimes.  
Look around and you will find  
No one's really color blind.  
Maybe it's a fact  
We all should face  
Everyone makes judgments  
Based on race.

Kairi:  
Now not big judgments, like who to hire  
or who to buy a newspaper from - 

Namine:  
No!

Kairi:  
No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican  
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!

Namine:  
Right!

Both:  
Everyone's a little bit racist  
Today.  
So, everyone's a little bit racist  
Okay!  
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,  
But you laugh because  
They're based on truth.  
Don't take them as  
Personal attacks.  
Everyone enjoys them -  
So relax!

Kairi:  
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

Namine:  
Okay!

Kairi:  
There's a plan going down and there's only  
one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

Namine:  
And a black guy!

Riku:  
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

Namine:  
Uh...

Riku:  
You were telling a black joke!

Kairi:  
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

Riku:  
I don't.

Kairi:  
Well, of course you don't - you're black!  
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?

Riku:  
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!

Kairi:  
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?

Riku:  
Well, damn, I guess you're right.

Namine:  
You're a little bit racist.

Riku:  
Well, you're a little bit too.

Kairi:  
We're all a little bit racist.

Riku:  
I think that I would  
Have to agree with you.

Kairi/Namine:  
We're glad you do.

Riku:  
It's sad but true!  
Everyone's a little bit racist -

All right!

Namine:  
All right!

Kairi:  
All right!

Riku:  
All right!  
Bigotry has never been  
Exclusively white

All:  
If we all could just admit  
That we are racist a little bit,  
Even though we all know  
That it's wrong,  
Maybe it would help us  
Get along.

Kairi:  
Oh, Christ do I feel good.

Riku:  
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!

Kairi:  
Who?

Riku:  
Jesus Christ.

Namine:  
But, Gary, Jesus was white.

Riku:  
No, Jesus was black.

Namine:  
No, Jesus was white.

Riku:  
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-

Kairi:  
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!

Sora:  
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Riku:  
Racism!

Sora:  
Cool.

Roxas:  
BRIAN! Come back here!  
You take out lecycuraburs!

Kairi:  
What's that mean?

Sora:  
Um, recyclables.  
Hey, don't laugh at her!  
How many languages do you speak?

Namine:  
Oh, come off it, Brian!  
Everyone's a little bit racist.

Sora:  
I'm not!

Kairi:  
Oh no?

Sora:  
Nope!

How many Oriental wives  
Have you got?

Roxas:  
What? Brian!

Kairi:  
Brian, buddy, where you been?  
The term is Asian-American!

Roxas:  
I know you are no  
Intending to be  
But calling me Oriental -  
Offensive to me!

Sora:  
I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

Roxas:  
And I love you.

Sora:   
But you're racist, too.

Roxas:  
Yes, I know.  
The Jews have all  
The money  
And the whites have all  
The power.  
And I'm always in taxi-cab  
With driver who no shower!

Kairi:  
Me too!

Namine:  
Me too!

Riku:  
I can't even get a taxi!

All:  
Everyone's a little bit racist  
It's true.  
But everyone is just about  
As racist as you!  
If we all could just admit  
That we are racist a little bit,  
And everyone stopped being  
So PC  
Maybe we could live in -  
Harmony! 

Roxas:  
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!

"Oh! Crap, I'm vibrating!!!" Jin-sama yelled, taking out her cell-phone. She opened it up and stared at the back of stage as the actors slipped silently back to their seats. "It's for joo, Namine-san."

Namine-sama took the phone, "Hello…?"

"Can I have a cookie?" a voice at the other end asked.

"NO, YAZU-CHAN, YOU MAY NOT HAVE A COOKIE!!!" Namine-sama screamed, slamming the phone shut.

It rang again.

"How about a pony?"

"NO!!! I'M WORKING!!!"

"At the cliff? Is Pence there?"

"NO!! I'M WORKING AT THE THE-A-TER!!"

"Well that sucks."

Namine-sama slammed the phone shut yet again, and when it rang, she threw it down to the dungeons where it exploded.


	4. The Internet Is For Porn

Namine-sama sighed, "I'm beat… you say the next one and all that."

Jin-sama shrugged, "The Internet Is For Porn! Brought to you by, Twilight Town Gang, where Pence and Olette are currently missing, so it's just Hayner-kun."

"With Axel as Trekkie Monster."

"Namine as Kate Monster."

"Roxas as Brian."

"Sora as Rod."

"Riku as Gary Coleman."

"And Kairi as Princeton."

"GO!!!" They both yelled.

NAMINE   
The internet is really really great 

AXEL   
For porn 

NAMINE   
I've got a fast connection so i don't have to wait 

AXEL   
For porn 

NAMINE  
Huh?   
There's always some new site, 

AXEL  
For porn!

NAMINE  
I browse all day and night 

AXEL  
For porn! 

NAMINE  
It's like i'm surfing at the speed of light 

AXEL  
For porn! 

NAMINE  
Trekkie! 

AXEL  
The internet is for porn 

NAMINE  
Trekkie! 

AXEL  
The internet is for porn, 

NAMINE  
What are you doing!? 

AXEL  
Why you think the net was born?  
Porn porn porn

NAMINE  
Treee—kkie! 

AXEL  
Oh hello kate monster 

NAMINE  
You are ruining my song 

AXEL  
Oh me sorry, me no mean to 

NAMINE  
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish? 

AXEL  
Me no talkie 

NAMINE  
Good

I'm glad we have this new technology 

AXEL  
For porn 

NAMINE  
Which gives us untold opportunity 

AXEL  
For por—oops, sorry 

NAMINE  
Right from you own desktop 

AXEL  
For --- 

NAMINE  
You can research browse and shop  
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop 

AXEL  
FOR PORN!!

NAMINE  
Trekkie! 

AXEL  
The internet is for porn! 

NAMINE  
Noooo 

AXEL  
The internet if for porn! 

NAMINE  
Trekkie 

AXEL  
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

NAMINE  
That's gross you're a pervert 

AXEL  
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster 

NAMINE  
NO really, your a pervert  
Normal people don't sit at home and look   
At porn on the internet 

AXEL  
Ohhhh? 

NAMINE  
What?! 

AXEL  
You have no idea  
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE (i.e: Sora, Riku and Roxas)  
Ready--- ready ----ready

AXEL  
Let me hear it!

AXEL AND GUYS  
The internet is for porn! 

KAIRI   
Sorry kate 

AXEL AND GUYS  
The internet is for porn! 

KAIRI  
I masturbate! 

AXEL AND GUYS  
All these guys unzip their flies  
For porn, porn, porn!

NAMINE  
The internet is not for porn!!

AXEL AND GUYS  
PORN!, PORN, P---

NAMINE  
HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

SORA  
That's correct.

NAMINE  
And Brian, you buy things on 

ROXAS  
Sure! 

NAMINE  
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay 

RIKU  
Yes I do!

NAMINE  
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

KAIRI  
True!

AXEL  
Oh, but Kate-  
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

KAIRI  
. .yeah

NAMINE  
EEEWWWWW! 

AXEL AND GUYS  
The internet is for porn! 

NAMINE  
Gross! 

AXEL AND GUYS  
The internet is for porn! 

NAMINE  
I hate porn 

AXEL AND GUYS  
Grab your dick and double click 

NAMINE  
I hate you men! 

AXEL AND GUYS  
For porn, porn, porn!  
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn 

NAMINE  
I'm leaving! 

AXEL AND GUYS  
Porn, porn, porn, porn  
porn, porn, porn, porn 

NAMINE  
I hate the internet! 

AXEL AND GUYS  
Porn, porn, porn, porn

AXEL  
The internet is for

AXEL AND SOME  
The internet is for

AXEL AND ALL  
The internet is for PORN!

AXEL  
YEAH!

Namine-sama shows off her porn.

All the singers, who have returned to their seats, look at her strangely.

"You are obsessed with us, aren't you?" Kairi shouts.

"Us too!" Roxas shouts.

Axel and Riku just shrug, "At least she didn't draw us having sex."

Namine-sama turns the page.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Riku and Axel scream.

"I did that one during this song!" Namine-sama shouted happily.

Hayner just shook his head. Namine-sama again flipped the page.

"I am pretty sexy," Hayner said, smirking.

"How can you say that?! It's probably you and your wife… doing… stuff!!!" Roxas shouted.

"No, it's just me…" Hayner replied coolly.

Namine-sama nodded.

Nigel looked over at his wife and his sister-in-law with a weird look, "I'm glad your not an artist, Jin-chan…"

Jin started an interpretive porn dance.

"Damn," Nigel replied.

"Wheeeeeen yooooouuuuuu walk awaaaaaay/Yoooooouuuuuu don't hear me saaaaaay/Pleeeeeaaaaase, oh baby, don't go/Simple and clean is the waaaaaaay/that you're making me feeeeeeel tonight…" Hayner sang quietly to himself. But Namine-sama could hear him.

"Oh, baby…" she said, and Hayner looked up.

"Oh, shnikies."

And the rest of them looked away…


	5. Mix Tape

"Namine-kuuuun!!!(1)" A voice yells from the back.

Jin-sama and Namine-sama turn to see their grandpa, Xemnas, and they're adopted kid, and Xemnas' lover, Saix, standing in the doorway.

"I can't believe you were heartless enough to not invite us…" Saix said.

The Kingdom Hearts Crew and Nigel ignored the bad pun, seeing how Jin-sama was the Heartless of the two, and continued to look on at the reunion.

"GRANDPA MANSEX!!!" Jin-sama and Namine-sama yelled, getting up to hug Xemnas and Saix, at the same time.

"You can be in the next one!" Jin-sama yelled happily.

"In Mix Tape!" Namine-sama put in.

"Saix as Princeton!"

"And Xemnas as Kate Monster!"

"GO!!" They shouted, as was custom.

Xemnas and Saix swished up to the stage as the music started.

Xemnas:  
Princeton.

He likes me.  
I think he likes me.  
Does does he 'like me' like me,  
Like I like him?  
Will we be friends,  
Or something more?  
I think he's interested,  
But I'm not sure.

Come in!

Saix:  
Hiya, Kate!

Xemnas:  
Princeton! Hi!

Saix:  
Hi! Listen, I was going through my CDs   
yesterday, and I kept coming across songs  
I thouht you'd like, so I made you this tape.

Xemnas:  
Oh, that's so sweet!  
Can I get you a drink? Or a snack?

Saix:  
Actually, do you mind if I use your bathroom?

Xemnas:  
Go right ahead.

Saix:  
Oh, thank you!

Xemnas:  
A mix tape.  
He made a mix tape.  
He was thinking of me,  
Which shows he cares!  
Sometimes when someone  
Has a crush on you  
They'll make you a mix tape  
To give you a clue.  
Let's see...  
"You've Got A Friend"  
"The Theme From 'Friends'"  
"That's What Friends Are For"

Shit!  
Oh, but look!

"A Whole New World"  
"Kiss The Girl"  
"My Cherie Amour"

Oh, Princeton! He does like me!

"I Am The Walrus"  
"Fat Bottomed Girls"  
"Yellow Submarine"  
What does this mean?

Saix:  
Hey Kate, you might wanna not go in there for a while.

Xemnas:  
Princeton, thank you for this tape.  
I was just looking at side A. Great songs!

Saix:  
Oh, well, did you get to side B yet?

Xemnas:  
No, not yet.

Saix:  
Oh, it's great! Check it out.

Xemnas:  
Yeah?

Saix:  
Right here...

Xemnas:  
"Stuck On You"

Saix:  
"Love Me Do"

Xemnas:  
"My Heart Will Go On"

I loved "Titanic"!

Saix:  
Uhh, it was all right.

"She's Got A Way"

Xemnas:  
"Yesterday"

Saix:  
"Goodnight Saigon!"

From the Russia concert!

Xemnas:  
Oh. Great.

"Through The Years"

Saix:  
"The Theme From 'Cheers'"

Xemnas:  
"Moving Right Along"

Nice tape.

Saix:  
Oh, there's one more...

"I Have To Say I Love You In A Song"

Xemnas:  
Princeton, that's so sweet!  
I've never gotten such a nice present from a guy.

Saix:  
Awww. Well, I'm glad you like it.  
But, I have to go now. I'm gonna make one  
for Brian and Christmas Eve and Gary and  
Nicky and Rod and Trekkie Monster and everyone!

Xemnas:  
Oh.

Saix:  
Oh, and, uh -

Xemnas:  
Yes?

Saix:  
What are you doing tonight?

Xemnas:  
Grading term papers. But it's kindergarten,  
so they're very short. Why?

Saix:  
Everyone's going to hear this singer at the  
Around The Clock Cafe. Do you want to go with me?

Xemnas:  
Like, a date?

Saix:  
Sure! A date. It'll be a blast.

Xemnas:  
I'd love to come!

Saix:  
Okay! Well, I'll see you then.

Xemnas:  
Okay!

Saix:  
Okay, bye.

Xemnas:  
Bye!  
He likes me!

Xemnas and Saix flounced to their seats, quite elated.

"Oh, Namine-kun, how did you know? That was how we met!!!" Xemnas cried, hugging Namine-sama tightly.

"Oh, I'm an elephant when it comes to these things," Namine-sama replied.

The others just looked at the happy family with wide-eyes.

(1) For some odd reason, Xemnas likes to call Namine-sama and Jin-sama boys, because we can be such boys when it comes to lesbians…


	6. Special Underwear

Namine-sama yawned and stretched, "And now the shortest song ever, I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today, sung by Roxas and Sora."

Jin-sama nodded, "Roxas and Christmas Eve and Sora as Brian."

The two boys grumbled as they got out of their seats and onto the stage.

Sora:  
I'm not wearing underwear today,  
No im not wearing underwear today  
Not that you probably care  
Much about my underwear  
Still none the less i gotta say  
That im not wearing underwear today

Roxas: Getta Job!

Sora: Thank you..hunnie?

Both of them stared at the teleprompter for a minute, "That's it?" Roxas asked.

Namine-sama nodded as she painted her nails a clear color.

"Nothing else?" Sora asked next.

Jin-sama nodded as she stroked Nigel's hair.

Sora and Roxas kept on staring at the two Nazis. "Really Really?" they both asked.

"OKAY!! You're asking for it. Nigel, Hayner, up and at 'em, you're singing Special," Namine shrieked, standing abruptly and dropping the nail polish, which shattered and spilled. The cleaing crew immediately came and cleaning it up, along with Namine-sama's shoes.

"Nigel as Princeton, and Hayner as Lucy the Prostitute?" Jin-sama asked.

Namine-sama nodded and the two aforementioned men walked up the stairs and on the stage.

HAYNER:  
I can make you feel special  
When it sucks to be you.  
I can make you feel special  
For an hour or two.

Your life's a routine that repeats each day.  
No one cares who you are or what you say.  
And sometimes you feel like you're nobody,  
But you can feel like somebody with me.

NIGEL:  
Wow!

HAYNER:  
Yeah, they're real.

When we're together the earth will shake  
And the stars will fall into the sea.  
So come on, baby, let down your guard.  
When your date's in the bathroom,  
I'll slip you my card.  
I can tell just by looking that you've got it hard  
For me! For me!  
For me! For me!  
For me! For me!  
I can tell just by looking that you are especially hard for me!

Namine-sama and Jin-sama continued laughing they're asses off, and the others couldn't keep straight faces (even though most of them were already gay, if you know what I mean.)

Hayner and Nigel sat back down with they're wives and glared at the aforementioned ladies, "You two, are complete douche bags."

"Thank you, hunnie!" they both yelled, quoting Brian in I'm Not Wearig Underwear Today.


	7. You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want

Namine-sama giggled, "And now, the moment you've all been waiting for… You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want (When You're Making Love)!!"

The others looked at her with frightful eyes.

"Oh, no worries, you don't have to do the motions… unless you… want to…" Namine-sama said in fits of giggles.

"Sora as Brian!"

"Roxas as Christmas Eve!"

"Namine as Kate Monster!"

"Kairi as Princeton… again!"

"Riku as Gary Coleman!"

"Hayner as Trekkie Monster."

"And Mansex and Saix as the Bad Idea Bears!"

"GO!!!"

Xemnas:  
Take her home!

Saix:  
She's wasted!

Xemnas and Saix:  
Yaaay!

Namine:  
My God, Princeton! Right there! Right there!  
That's the spot - that's the spot - okay, a little lower -  
okay, now to the left - no, my left - ohhhhhhhhhhhh!

Kairi:  
Oh, my God, Kate, no one's ever touched me like this  
before - you can't put your finger there -   
OOH! PUT YOUR FINGER THERE!

Both:  
Oh, yeah!

Riku:  
You can be as loud as  
The hell you want  
When you're making love

Xemnas and Saix:  
When you're making love!

Riku:  
You can be as loud as  
The hell you want  
When you're making love!

Xemnas and Saix:  
When you're making love!

Riku:  
You can be as loud as  
The hell you want  
When you're making love!

Xemnas and Saix:  
When you're making love!

Riku:  
You can be as loud as  
The hell you want...

Namine/Kairi:  
Ahhhhhhh!

Riku:  
Gary Coleman! You hear what?  
Hell no, I won't tell them to quiet down!

Namine:  
Are we being too loud?

Kairi:  
Yeah are we bothering someone?

Riku:  
Oh, no, not at all, kids!   
You keep doing what you're doing.

Xemnas and Saix:  
Yeah! Louder!

Riku:  
You're not allowed to be loud  
At the library  
At the art museum  
Or at a play  
But when you and your partner  
Are doing the nasty  
Don't behave like you're  
At the ballet!  
Cause you can be as loud as  
The hell you want  
When you're making love

Xemnas and Saix:  
Making sweet, sweet love

Riku:  
You can be as loud as  
The hell you want  
When you're making love

Xemnas and Saix:  
Loud as the hell!  
Loud as the hell you want!

Riku:  
Don't let the neighbors  
Stop you from havin' fun,  
They'll have peace and quiet  
When you're good and done.

All:  
Be as loud as  
The hell you want  
When you're making love!  
Loud as the hell you want...

Namine:  
Faster, Princeton!

Roxas:  
Brian, slow down! This not a race!

All:  
Loud as the hell you want...

Kairi:  
Oh, yeah!

Sora:  
Who's your daddy?

Roxas:  
What? Brian!

All:  
Loud as the hell you want...  
Loud as the hell you want...

Riku:  
Smack it and lick it and rub it and suck it!

All:  
Loud as the hell you want...

Roxas:  
Yes! Work your mama!

All:  
Loud as the hell you-

Namine:  
Oh yeah, that's it!

Sora:  
Ooh, babe!

Hayner:  
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

All:  
Loud as the hell you-  
Loud as the hell you-  
Loud as the hell you-  
Loud as the hell you-  
Loud as the hell you-  
Loud as the hell you-  
Loud as the hell you-  
Want!

"Oooooh… that image is going to be permanently lodged in my brain…" Axel commented.

"MORE PORN!!!" Namine-sama shouted.

"Oh, dear Lord," the actors replied, slapping their foreheads.


	8. Fantasies Come True

Namine giggled with happiness, "And now, at least midnight, Fantasies Come True!"

"With Hayner as Rod."

"And Roxas as Nicky."

"And Kairi as Princeton, yet again."

"And Namine as Kate Monster… AGAIN!!"

"GO!!!"

HAYNER  
It sure can get lonely at night. Nicky, you awake? 

ROXAS  
Ah, is that a unicorn? 

HAYNER  
Ugh, he's talking in his sleep again. 

ROXAS  
No, I'll wear the purple shoes. Hh, who painted the kitten? 

HAYNER  
Ugh, maybe I should just shake him. 

ROXAS  
I love you, Rod 

HAYNER  
What did you say? 

ROXAS  
I love your little laugh 

HAYNER  
Nicky? Are you awake? 

ROXAS  
Take off your shirt 

HAYNER  
Oh Nicholas! Have you been shy all this time?  
Have we been... hiding from each other? I wonder...

All those nights  
I'd lay in bed  
Thoughts of you  
Running through my head

ROXAS  
I know, put my earmuffs on the cookie

HAYNER  
But I never thought  
The things in my head  
Could really happen  
In my bed

ROXAS  
You look like David Hasselhoff

HAYNER  
All those years  
I missed the signs  
Couldn't read  
Between the lines

Who'd have thought  
I would see the day  
Where I'd hear you say  
What I heard you say

And now I find  
What was always in my mind was in your mind too  
Who knew? Fantasies come true  
And now I see  
That what I always dreamed of was meant to be  
You and me and you, fantasies come true

MUSICAL INTERLUDE

HAYNER  
You and me lived in fantasy  
But we'll be a reality

KAIRI  
Kate, that was amazing! 

NAMINE  
You're amazing 

KAIRI  
Heh, I want you to have this.  
It's a penny I carry around with me for good luck.  
It's from the year I was born, see?  
Who knows? Maybe it'll bring you good luck. It did for me. I found you.

I want you to know  
The time that we've spent  
How great it's been  
How much it's meant

NAMINE  
Gosh, I don't know what to say  
I'm really glad you feel that way

Cuz I'm afraid  
That I like you more  
Than I've ever liked  
Any guy before

HAYNER NAMINE  
Cuz now Cuz now  
My love My love

BOTH  
I'm getting what I've always been dreaming of

HAYNER NAMINE  
So are you Oh Baby

BOTH  
Fantasies come true

NAMINE HAYNER  
And now And now  
I swear I swear that

BOTH  
When you want me I'm gonna be right there

HAYNER NAMINE  
To care To care

BOTH  
For you

NAMINE  
That's what I'm gonna do

HAYNER NAMINE  
And make your fantasies Fantasies

BOTH  
Come true

HAYNER  
Fantasies come true

ROXAS  
Uh, hey Rod, buddy, you're talking in your sleep. 

HAYNER  
Oh, I thought you were talking in your sleep... 

ROXAS  
No I just came to bed. Heh, you're dreamin' is all. 

HAYNER  
Oh. 

ROXAS  
Sounded like a nice dream, though. 

HAYNER  
Yes it was a nice dream. 

ROXAS  
Goodnight! 

HAYNER  
Goodnight, Nicky.

"That suddenly made me depressed…" Hayner said, sitting down next to Namine-sama. He started buzzing in his pants.

"I didn't know you liked Roxas that much," Namine-sama replied, giggling.

"Wha? No! That's my cell phone!" Hayner replied, taking it out and opening it. He paused, "It's for you, Namine-koishi-kun…"

Namine-sama took the phone, "Can I at least have Zuko's boxers?"

"Yazu, for the thousandth time NO!!!" Namine-sama slammed the phone shut and threw it at the wall, where it broke.

"Umm… that was mine?" Hayner said.

"I know… you could've gotten your number changed, but Yazu-chan has a strange mind, and she can find any phone number thanks to Sasuke-kun…"

"DAMN THAT WOMAN!!" everybody in the room yelled.


	9. My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada

Namine stretched, "Saix-kun, your on in My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada…"

Saix got up happily onto the stage as the music started.

Ohhhh...  
I wish you could meet my girlfriend, my girlfriend who lives in Canada.  
She couldn't be sweeter  
I wish you could meet her,  
My girlfriend who lives in Canada!

Her name is Alberta  
She live in Vancouver  
She cooks like my mother  
And sucks like a Hoover.

I e-mail her every single day  
Just to make sure that everything's okay.  
It's a pity she lives so far away, in Canada!

Last week she was here, but she had the flu.  
Too bad  
'Cause I wanted to introduce her to you  
It's so sad  
There wasn't a thing that she could do  
But stay in bed with her legs up over her head!  
Oh!

I wish you could meet my girlfriend,  
But you can't because she is in Canada.  
I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her,  
So soon I'll be off to Alberta!  
I mean Vancouver!  
Shit! Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancou-

She's my girlfriend!  
My wonderful girlfriend!  
Yes I have a girlfriend, who lives in Canada!!

And I can't wait to eat her pussy again!

"You're a whore, dear," Xemnas commented lightheartedly.

"I try my hardest, sweetums," Saix retorted playfully.

"I'm gonna barf pretty soon," Roxas said, holding his stomach.


	10. There Is Life Outside Your Apartment

"And now, There Is Life Outside Your Apartment!" Namine shouted.

"With Namine as Princeton, finally, someone new…"

"Axel as Brian."

"Riku as Christmas Eve."

"Xemnas as Nicky."

"Hayner as Trekkie Monster."

"Random Dude #1 is Roxas."

"Random Dude #2 is Sora."

"And Kairi is Lucy the Prostitute."

Kairi breathed out, "Oh, great."

Axel:  
Princeton!

Namine:  
Yeah.

Axel:  
Listen, buddy, nobody's seen ya for two weeks.  
What's up with that?

Namine:  
I went to work for a temp agency, and they   
fired me for being too depressing on the phone.  
I maxed out my cards, I'm two months behind  
in rent, I totally messed up my personal life.  
Oh, and Brian - I still haven't found my purpose!

Axel:  
All right. Get off your ass and stop worrying!  
Everyone's getting together to mess around the city today.

Namine:  
Have fun!

Axel:  
When I say everyone, that includes you!

There is life outside your apartment.  
I know it's hard to conceive.  
But there's life outside your apartment.  
And you're only gonna see it if you leave.

There is cool shit to do,  
But it can't come to you,  
And who knows, dude  
You might even score!

There is life outside your apartment.  
But you gotta open the door!

Namine:  
No, thanks, I'm staying in!

Axel:  
Don't tell me I gotta force you.

Namine:  
Sorry!

Axel:  
All right, everyone! He's resisting!

All but Namine:  
There is life outside...  
There is life outside...  
There is life outside...  
There is life outside your apartment!  
There's a pigeon  
Squashed on the street.

Riku:  
Ew.

Axel:  
There's a girl passing by

Xemnas:  
No I think it's a guy

All but Namine:  
And a homeless man  
Who only wants to  
Buy something to eat!

Sorry, can't help you.

We could go to the zoo!

Hayner:  
Pick up girls at NYU!

Axel:  
We could sit in the park smoking pot!

Riku:  
Or not.

All but Namine:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Namine:  
Well, I guess I'll give it a shot.

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.  
I know -  
There is life outside your apartment.

Roxas:  
I'm gonna jump!

All:  
Don't do it!

Roxas:  
Okay.

All:  
There is cool shit to do  
But it can't come to you  
So come on -

Sora:  
Get out of the way asshole!

Namine:  
Fuck you!

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.  
Oh, you never know  
What's around the bend.  
You could win the lotto  
Or make a friend...

Guys:  
Take her home to see your apartment!

Kairi:  
Do you wanna feel special?  
I can see that you do.  
Well, I can make you feel  
Special.  
If you let me feel you.

Guys:  
She'll feel you!

Kairi:  
Where's your pad?

Namine:  
Not too far.

Guys:  
We could call you a car.

Namine:  
We'll be fine, thank you! See ya!  
Riku:  
Hope you don't get gonorrhea!

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Namine/Kairi:  
But now it's time to go home.

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Hayner:  
Me going home now.

Namine/Kairi:  
It's time to go home!

Hayner:  
That's where me gonna go!

Kairi:  
I can make you feel special

Hayner:  
That's where me gonna go!

All:  
There is life outside your apartment.

Hayner:  
Me going home now,  
That's where me gonna go!

Namine/Kairi:  
But now it's time to go home

Hayner:  
For porn!

"Somehow I knew Trekkie would say something about porn…" Saix commented.

Namine-sama giggled, "Kairi's a Prosty! Kairi's a Prosty!!"

Jin-sama sighed, "You didn't draw anything, did you?"

"And if I did…?" Namine-sama asked.

"Nothing, I would praise you even more.

Everyone else: O.O


	11. The More You Ruv Someone

Namine-sama leaped up, "Namine and Roxas, The More Your Ruv Someone, NOW!!"

Namine:  
Why can't people get along and love each other, Christmas Eve?

Roxas:  
You think getting along same as loving?   
Sometimes love right where you hating most, Kate Monster.

Namine:  
Huh?

Roxas:  
The more you love someone,  
The more you want to kill 'em.  
The more you love someone,  
The more he make you cry

Though you are try  
For making peace  
With them and loving,  
That's why you love so strong  
You like to make him die!

The more you love someone,  
The more he make you crazy.  
The more you love someone,  
The more you wishing him dead!

Sometime you look at him  
And only see fat and lazy,  
And wanting baseball bat  
For hitting him on his head!

Love

Namine:  
Love

Roxas:  
And hate

Namine:  
And hate

Roxas:  
They like two brothers

Namine:  
Brothers

Roxas:  
Who go on a date

Namine:  
Who...what?

Roxas:  
Where one of them goes,  
Other one follows  
You inviting love  
He also bringing sorrows

Namine:  
Ah, yes.

Roxas:  
The more you love someone,  
The more you want to kill 'em.  
Loving and killing  
Fit like hand in glove!

Namine:  
Hand in glove.

Roxas:  
So if there someone  
You are wanting so  
To kill 'em.  
You go and find him.  
And you get him.  
And you no kill him.  
'Cause chances good

Both:  
He is your love.

"Sadistic," Axel commented as Roxas and Namine sat back down.

"Makes me giggle," Jin-sama giggled. Her hubby looked at her strangely and then continued to braid her hair.

"Well, we have two more chapters left!" Namine-sama put in.

"Thirteen, huh?" Sora asked.

"Hey, that's my number!" Roxas said, his face glowing.

"That's the idea, Rox," Namine-sama said.

"Cool…" the others said.


	12. Schadenfreude

Namine smiled, "Okay… we ready?"

The others nodded.

"Then Axel and Roxas get up there for Schadenfreude!" Jin-sama yelled.

"THE NAZI SONG!!!" Namine-sama shrieked.

Axel and Roxas looked at her strangely, then walked up to the stage.

AXEL:  
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy

ROXAS:  
I'll say.

AXEL:  
And when I see how sad you are  
It sort of makes me...  
Happy!

ROXAS:  
Happy?!

AXEL:  
Sorry, Nicky, human nature-  
Nothing I can do!  
It's...  
Schadenfreude!  
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

ROXAS:  
Well that's not very nice, Gary!

AXEL:  
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!

D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?

ROXAS:  
Yeah...

AXEL:  
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?

ROXAS:  
Sure!

AXEL:  
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,  
Watching people out in the rain!

ROXAS:  
You bet!

AXEL:  
That's...

AXEL AND ROXAS:  
Schadenfreude!

AXEL:  
People taking pleasure in your pain!

ROXAS:  
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?  
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?

AXEL:  
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"

ROXAS:  
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!

Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken

AXEL:  
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!

ROXAS:  
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"

AXEL AND ROXAS:  
"No!!!"  
Schadenfreude!

AXEL:  
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"

ROXAS:  
Ooh, how about...  
Straight-A students getting Bs?

AXEL:  
Exes getting STDs!

ROXAS:  
Waking doormen from their naps!

AXEL:  
Watching tourists reading maps!

ROXAS:  
Football players getting tackled!

AXEL:  
CEOs getting shackled!

ROXAS:  
Watching actors never reach

AXEL AND ROXAS:  
The ending of their Oscar speech!  
Schadenfreude!  
Schadenfreude!  
Schadenfreude!  
Schadenfreude!

AXEL:  
The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.  
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us,  
and that makes them feel great.

ROXAS:  
Sure!  
We provide a vital service to society!

AXEL AND ROXAS:  
You and me!  
Schadenfreude!  
Making the world a better place...  
Making the world a better place...  
Making the world a better place...  
To be!

AXEL:  
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!

Jin-sama sighed happily, "Our song, Namine-kun!"

"Yes!" Namine-sama replied.

Xemnas and Saix clixked their tongues playfully at the two girls, and the rest just burst out laughing.


	13. I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

Namine-sama wiped away a tear, "Oh, my god, I'm going to miss you all so much!!"

Roxas patted her back, "It's okay… we'll see you around the Boudoire, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but I won't be able to tie you up and make you sing!" Namine-sama bawled.

"That's right, isn't it…" Hayner replied, "they know how you work now…"

"NOT HELPING!!!" Namine-sama shrieked, "And since I'm all out of favorite Avenue Q songs, you'll have to sing one from High School Musical…"

"Umm… that's okay," Namine put in.

Namine-sama smiled mischievously, "Then Namine is Sharpay…"

"Sora is Troy…"

"Roxas is Gabriella…"

"And Kairi is Ryan!"

"Oh, what have we gotten ourselves into?" the four aforementioned teens whined.

Sora:   
Ya never know what you're gonna feel, oh  
Ya never see it comin' suddenly it's real

Roxas:  
Oh, never even crossed my minde, no  
That I would ever end up here tonight

Both:   
All things change  
When you don't expect them to  
No one knows  
What the future's gonna do  
I never even noticed  
That you've been there all along

Chorus  
Sora & Roxas:  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
I know you feel the same way too, yeah  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
All it took . . . Was one look  
For a dream come true

Kairi:  
Yeah, we got a good thing goin' on

Namine:  
Oh, right here is right where we belong

Both:  
You never really know what you might find  
Now all I see is you and I  
You're everything I never knew  
That I've been looking for

Chorus  
Kairi & Namine

All:  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
Oh, oh, oh yeah  
So let the music play  
Can't take my eyes off of you  
Yeah, the feeling's getting' stronger  
And I never ever felt this way

Alright, I see everything  
In your eyes. . . Oh yeah  
Alright, something's happening  
Cause everyone's around but  
You're the only one I see

Chorus

I can't take my eyes off of you  
Feelings like I never knew  
I can't take my eyes off of you  
From the start. . . Got my heart  
Yeah, you do  
Can't take my eyes off you

"YES!!! WE'RE FREE!!!" Nigel yelled, kissing his wife and then bolting.

Axel and Riku got up from their chairs and looked into each other's eyes, "I actually had fun…" Riku said.

"Me too…" Axel replied.

"See you tonight then?"

"Yeah… guess so?"

The two parted then at the door.

At the door, Roxas and Sora hugged and kissed each other before Roxas disappeared into Sora.

"Told you, Grandpa Mansex, meant to be…" Namine-sama commented.

"Okay, so you told me so," Xemnas replied, releasing his adopted grand-daughter's hand and taking up his lover's.

"I hope you remember we have a meeting of the Organization (1) tonight, Saix, dear," Namine-sama said, looking past Xemnas and to her adopted child.

"Yes, mumsy," Saix said.

Jin-sama flashed Namine-sama the awkward turtle, still not used to being called 'mumsy' by a 3-something-year-old.

Xemnas and Saix said farewell to the two girls and left for they're room. Jin-sama offered to come along with a camera, but Namine-sama said no.

All that was left was Hayner, Jin-sama, Namine-sama, Kairi, and her Nobody.

Hayner smiled, kissed Namine-sama under her ear, her secret spot, and left. Jin-sama and Namine-sama ducked behind the seats as Namine's gaze went around the (almost) empty theatre.

"Looks like we're all alone," Kairi commented, blush creeping onto her features.

"I… I guess so," Namine replied, her own face mirroring Kairi's.

"This was really fun…" Kairi said, being brave and taking up her Other's hands. They both blushed deeper.

Leaning in closer and closer, the two girls finally kissed each other, and it took all they had for Jin-sama and Namine-sama not to squeal and give up they're post. Jin-sama quickly transported them to the back of the room, still behind some seats. So they can look like they came in to lock up.

Namine and Kairi broke apart, "So… can we hang out sometime? You know… like a… a…" Kairi stuttered.

"A date?" Namine asked, putting a finger to Kairi's lip.

"Yeah, a date…"

"How about after my Organization meeting?"

"Great!" Kairi said.

Namine and Kairi both closed their eyes and Namine disappeared. Jin-sama and Namine-sama stood up as Kairi went into Lala-land for a short while and positioned themselves at the door.

"Uhh… Kairi-chan? Don't you need to be somewhere?" Namine-sama asked.

Kairi opened her eyes, "Oh! That's right!"

She blushed a darker shade of crimson and ran out of the theatre. Jin-sama and Namine-sama giggled and locked up, then both shook hands, and Jin-sama disappeared.

(1) Namine-sama has, like, 12 adopted kids, and with her, they make the (new and improved) Organization 13.


End file.
